Occasionally my favorite sports columnists--Dan Shaughnessy and Bob Ryan--will fill column inches with tidbits: "cleaning out the desk drawer of the mind," or some such thing, little 2 or 3 line bits which never get developed into full-fledged columns (my father pronounced that word "colyooms"), but are interesting nonetheless. I've got 3 such things today. Maybe more like a novella, a short story, and an anecdote.
I found a piece on the Op-Ed page of last Sunday's Boston Globe entitled "Remove space aliens from Earth's party list." Written by Stephen Kinzer, the column is concerned with the fact that a group of scientists in California has announced plans to "advertise Earth's existence to space aliens, and invite them to visit." For decades, of course, radio astronomers have, through a program called SETI, Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence, been listening to the heavens in hopes of hearing some sort of transmission that seems made by another intelligence. Now some want to be pro(radio)active and start a program they're calling METI, Messaging to Extraterrestrial Intelligence. That's all pretty interesting stuff, but what really struck me is the reaction to such a proposal. Kinzer, along with many scientists, feels METI is a terrible idea, which "should terrify anyone familiar with the history of imperialism and conquest." WHAT???!!?
First, let's acknowledge that it's a statistical given that we are not the only planet in the universe which contains life. The odds are totally against us being the only ones. For years, Sci-Fi writers and filmmakers have wrestled with trying to describe or depict alien life forms. Even fantastical imaginations have trouble conceiving something wholly unknown, so most creatures in Sci-Fi have at least some vaguely humanoid traits, or traits and characteristics of other flora and fauna with which we have some familiarity. Woody Allen, in his comic masterpiece Sleeper posited that an alien might have "the body of a crab and the head of a social worker."
Obviously, though, it's not just picturing aliens physically that throws us. We apparently cannot conceive of beings whose behavior would in any way not reflect our worst traits. Bertrand Russell once said that "For aught we know, other parts of the cosmos may contain beings as superior to ourselves as we are to jelly-fish." And, apparently, even to some of our greatest minds, superiority inevitably leads to violence, rapaciousness, conquest: We behave that way, the thinking goes, so how can we expect that any other life form, especially one superior to us, would behave differently. Well, the word "superior" itself would make me think it possible, but I'm no Stephen Hawking, who has said "'If aliens visit us the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans.'" But then Hawking left his first wife, who saw him through the early stages of his disease and pre-fame, for his nurse, so his knowledge of appropriate human behavior is a bit suspect.
So, really, any and all beings existing anywhere in the cosmos would share our most brutal and violent tendencies? But what if, let's just say, what if aliens have already been here, maybe are still here? There is some speculative evidence for that, after all. What if their names are Teresa, Mohandas, Martin, Jesus, Rosa, Squanto, Sacajawea (note: not a white guy among 'em.)? What if they were and are here to show us the way of "superior" beings, to model a real humanity, however alien? What if we are the beasts, and the beasts are the beauties? What does that thought do to the ground beneath you, wheelchair boy? Math is one thing; humanity and interpersonal relationships another. How do you quantify love?
Part Deux: As I write this, at 5:15 pm, EDT on 22 March, 2015 (as the cool Europeans would write it), there have been 20,240 visits to this website, over 118 posts. I know, some people get that many hits per second per second, but I think that's still pretty cool. Of that number, I believe that at least 200 have read more than one sentence; also there have been about 25 responses, which seems like an appropriate number percentage-wise and given the quality of the source, and for which I am very gratified. I have monetized the blog to the tune of $50, which I received as a royalty for being included in a composition handbook, 50 Genres and How to Write Them, written by esteemed composition professor and author Dr. Brock Dethier. But I couldn't have done it without all the little people out there, so I'd like to thank Peter Dinklage, Dolly Parton (stature, folks, not projection), Danny DeVito, Eddie Gaedel (for you oldtimers), Edith Piaf and Charlie Manson, and how's that for a pair--La Vie en Die, Piggies, Die!.
We recently reached a new cultural touchstone, or touch-something: in The New Yorker issue of Feb. 23 & Mar. 2, 2015, Anthony Lane, one of their wonderful and witty film critics, used the term "butt plug." It was in his review of "Fifty Shades of Grey,", and it wasn't part of a quote; the entire sentence read "Pass the butt plug." Kate, I leave it to you to explain it to Craig. So the Rubicon has been crossed, again and in a holely 'nother direction. Eustace Tilley's spinnin', and his top hat's afire.
For a playlist this week, I'll stick with the novella, mostly:
Alien Chris Whitley
Alien (Hold On To Your Dream) Gil Scott-Heron
Alien Invasion David Lindley
The Alien Lounge Steve Tibbetts
The Alien Song (For Those Who Listen) Milla
Aliens Gully Boys
Loving The Alien David Bowie
The Alien Changes The Stick George Duke
UFO Has Landed In The Ghetto Ry Cooder
UFO Tofu Bela Fleck & The Flecktones
Third Stone From The Sun Jimi Hendrix
Rocket Man Elton John
Here Come The Martian Martians Jonathan Richman
Life On Mars? David Bowie
I'm The Urban Spaceman Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band
Mr. Spaceman The Byrds
Spaceman Harry Nilsson
Outa-Space Billy Preston
Lost In Space Neil Young
Space Captain Joe Cocker
Space Cowboy Ben Sidran
When Numbers Get Serious Paul Simon
Dirty Butt Blues Sweets Edison and Lockjaw Davis
See you Tuesday, noon till two on WOOL-FM, 91.5, and/or wool.fm, streaming live worldwide.
"Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast...."
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