Greetings, again, from Chautauqua Institution, USA, (mostly) Liberal Gated Community, you oxymoron fans. Chautauqua is located, for you GPS users, at the corner of Indolence and Lassitude, just off Languor Squared, across from Torpor Aerie, where live the sleepy hedges trimmed to the shapes of eagles' nests.
Life is slow here, but maybe not quite slow enough for me to stay out of trouble. Lemme tell you about it, but first some background. Sometime during the aughts, during the rain (not a misprint) of GWB as "president," the Smothers Brothers appeared here, with their wit and political satire intact. At some point Tommy was riffing on Republican'ts and received a smattering of boos. He stopped and said, with some surprise, "Are there some Republicans here tonight?" This time, a smattering of applause, to which he replied "Don't you read the papers?"
When we pulled into our rental on Saturday, one of the first things I noticed was what was obviously a Republican't flag hanging from the porch of the house next door. You know, the classic elephant symbol in red, white and blue. Never saw one, hope to never see another, 'though I expect they'll be a thing. I mean, even if just the Republican't presidential candidates displayed them they'd darken the skies like passenger pigeons used to. Be nice if they, too, became extinct.
Aaanyway, Saturday evening I was listening to music on the porch at a not excessive level when the owner of the flag set out to walk his dog, a yappy little terrier of some sort. He stopped to tell me that what I was doing was not in the Chautauqua spirit, that folks here like it quiet and go to sleep early. I guess so: it was about 8:30. At 62 I'm still getting yelled at for playing my music too loud: "Aw, jeez, c'mon Dad, pleeease?"
As I said, the guy's dog is a yapper. Yesterday she started at about 7:15, as I was lying in bed attempting to read. And the thing is, Mr. Law and Order is an old softy when it comes to his precious: no one attempts to shush it until it goes on for 10 mins. or so. And this behavior went on at intervals throughout the day. So in the evening, as the superhero duo Yapper and Enabler returned from their evening constitutional, or at least the part that elite activist judges haven't overthrown yet, as I was again sitting on the porch listening to music, I stopped him and said "You didn't have any qualms about complaining about my music the other night. I've been coming here for 16 years, and have walked all around the campus this week, and the only dog I've heard barking is yours." His reply as he began to drag the dog toward his house--and I'm not making this up--was "Okay, fine then, I'll just kill her." Perfectly reasonable adult exchange of ideas, eh? For Fox Noise, anyway.
Every once in a while the right rejoinder comes at the right time, not hours later when you're lying in bed. So just before he slammed through the door I said "No, I see that you're a Rebublican: just build a fence around the country and keep her out." It'll be interesting to see what today brings....
Enjoy my vacation, everyone.
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