Ken Cuccinelli is running for governor of Virginia. He's a Republican. If he is elected--and he is right now neck-and-neck, as it were, with the likely Democratic nominee--then Virginia will have to, among other things, change its unofficial state motto. Virginia will not be for lovers, or at least not for un-policed, unregulated lovers.
Ken Cuccinelli, you see, is another one of those politicians who wants to get government out of our lives, except where he thinks it should be firmly and deeply (foreshadowing, there) in our lives. And in Cuccinelli's case, as is true for so many Republicans, where they want the government to be involved is in our bedrooms, or at least in our sex lives. Cuccinelli has vowed that, if elected governor (he is currently VA's attorney general [!]), he will work to enact a law that will make oral sex a felony, under any circumstances--consensual, between married couples, between humans and animals (well, you know that that's what same-sex marriage is bound to lead us to, right?). And this view is unconstitutional even according to this Supreme Court (Scalia, Alioto, Thomas, et al), of course. It doesn't matter to Ken: he just wants it all to be illegal.
There is obviously so much room here for satire, parody, incredulity and fear that one hardly knows where to begin. About the only place I want to go with this, I think, is the scene in Woody Allen's classic film Manhattan, wherein Allen's character eavesdrops on a conversation among a group of women at a tony Manhattan soiree and hears one woman tell the group that she finally had an orgasm, but "my doctor told me it was the wrong kind." Woody's character interjects--or maybe ejaculates--that "my worst one was right on the money." Which leads one (at least me) naturally to marvel at how anyone who had ever experienced the wonders and pleasures in those certain acts could even consider banning them, which leads to "well, maybe his experience was bad," which leads back to the lines cited above, and around, and around.
Do you wonder, as I do, how such a law would be enforced? Is it really a jobs-creation plan couched in Puritanically moralistic views (we'd hire cops to peer in every window and door of every building everywhere), or a creative new use for the burgeoning drone technology (a mechanical hummeringbird hovering outside every aperture)? Whichever, Cooch (can we use that as a nickname for him?) may be ahead of the curve or, hopefully more likely, about to crash head-on (foreshadowing, or simply self-reference) into it.
Cuccinelli claims that his intent was to restrict the law's application to minors, in hopes of using it as a weapon against child pornographers. That's a noble goal, but Please: if you Google him and see his track record in espousing various extreme right-wing views, your suspicions, at least, ought to be aroused. As Scottish sociologist R.M. MacIver (no, it wasn't MLK Jr. or any other more contemporary thinkers who said it, in spite of what we may believe) wrote, in 1926, "Law cannot prescribe morality." I always thought of it as "You can't legislate morality;" close, but sometimes no cigar is just no cigar.
So, while I really can't discuss the theme of this week's show openly on the air (Damn you, FCC), can just play the songs and let the listener figure it out, you, faithful reader, will be privy to the secret. Here are the songs I've chosen for this week's show:
Chelsea Hotel #2 Leonard Cohen
Head Prince
Head moe.
Head and Heart John Martyn
Head Keeper Dave Mason
Heads or Tails Booker T. & The MG's
Down on Me Janis Joplin
Jeepster T.Rex
Walk On The Wild Side Lou Reed
I Got The News Steely Dan
Going Down Jeff Beck Group
Don't Bite The Head NRBQ
Ol' 55 Tom Waits
Going Down Slowly Pointer Sisters
Golden Rollin' Belly John Stewart
Go Down Easy John Martyn
Summer Child John Stewart
Pearl Necklace ZZ Top
Sucker Like You Ben Sidran
You Go To My Head Chet Baker
Water With The Wine Joan Armatrading
Blow Away George Harrison
Crush Dave Matthews Band
Mouth Full Of Suck Dirk hamilton
You Run Your Mouth (I'll Run My Business) Joe Jackson
Open Mouth Kaki King
Goin' Down For The Third Time Phoebe Snow
Goin' Down Slow Howlin' Wolf
I'm Goin' Down Bruce Springsteen
Maybe it's simply a case of arrested development, maybe I'm just reacting to the passage of my life, but I think, in spite of the apparent ludicrousness of this story, that there's a serious issue here to think about, regarding who gets to tell us how to live. If we want government out of our lives, it's got to be across-the-board, doesn't it? Anyway, I hope you can join me on Tuesday from noon till two on wool.fm.
Oh, just read the second part of the post's title quickly....
Jeepster huh? Gotta look that one up.
ReplyDeleteOk...one more...
ReplyDeleteFrom my cold dead $%#@#